In the text below we have another epic Ayahuasca Trip report from our friend Kairon over in the Netherlands. This is Part 5 in an ongoing trip report exploratory document entitled: Teachings From Hyperspace. In Part 5, Kairon begins to experiment with Ayahuasca outside of the familiar Santo Daime setting, and begins to hold at-home ceremony with the shockingly powerful psychedelic home-brew sacrament. We meet a new key figure pervading through Part 5 of this Ayahuasca experience, the archangel, Metatron. This esoteric being helps obliterate Kairon's, then, current understanding of the world, and introduces a new aspect to reality that few of us have had the tenacity to explore. This might be the greatest Ayahuasca Trip Report to date. We hope you breathe these transdimensional teachings in, learn something new, and enjoy.
Metatron is an archangel in Judaism and in Christian folklore. According to Jewish medieval apocrypha, he is Enoch, ancestor of Noah, transformed into an angel. There are no references to Metatron as an angel in the Jewish Tanakh or Christian scriptures (Old and New Testament); however, Genesis 5:24 is often cited as evidence of Enoch's bodily ascension into heaven —"And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him." Although he is mentioned in a few brief passages in the Talmud, Metatron appears primarily in medieval Jewish mystical texts and other post-scriptural esoteric sources, such as the Books of Enoch:1 Enoch: Book of Parables, 2 Enoch, and 3 Enoch. In Rabbinic tradition, he is the highest of the angels and serves as the celestial scribe.
Archangel Metatron
Setting: At home ceremony, Netherlands
Age: 35
Sex: Male
Shulgin Rating Scale: +++ / ++++
Duration: 2.5 hours - 12 hours.
Age: 35
Sex: Male
Shulgin Rating Scale: +++ / ++++
Duration: 2.5 hours - 12 hours.
Part V ‘Redefining Reality’
Oh Metatron
Heel onze wonden
Oh houd me vast
Vul mijn hart met Licht
Oh Metatron
Heal our wounds
Oh hold me tight
Fill my heart with Light
Kairon, Oh Metatron, hymn 1.
It is the first time I am drinking “homebrew” ayahuasca in my living room in which I created a sacred space for the ritual. I enter hyperspace and meet a radiant being I recognize as the archangel Metatron. He radiates light, I relax my pre-flight tension. He stands in front of me and blesses me with his hands. I am filled with Light. It is intense, yet my whole body relaxes. I open up to the Light and allow it to flow through my body.
I am at home and enter hyperspace. Metatron is near and I start hearing a melody. I get my guitar and try to play it. After some practice I seem to match what I hear inside. Then the words start coming: Oh Metatron, light from the stars. I write them down, and sing the song along with the simple melody. Then a next line: Give me strength, take me far away. Oh Metatron, heal our wounds. Oh hold me tight, fill my heart with Light. Every time I write down a line, the next one pops up. As I sing the words, I experience them. Metatron is made from starlight. He gives me the strength to travel to other dimensions of reality. As he stands by, it feels like he holds me, embraces me and fills my heart with Light, helping to heal my wounds.
I enter hyperspace and Metatron takes me with him to a city of Light. Everything is Light, beauty, radiance. I recognize this place, but only from seeing it from a distance. This time I actually enter the city. Metatron gives me some sort of guided tour. All of the buildings are thought forms. Every house is a paradigm, an image of the world, a conceptual framework. I look around. Some buildings are very small, literally narrow-minded. Then I spot the building of Antroposophy. It is amazingly beautiful. It is hard to explain, because the stuff the place is made from are thoughts—it isn’t really comparable with any earthly structure. It has something that reminds me of high and small Gothic windows and wall drawings. But these earthly structures are only the material counterparts of these spiritual structures, relating to each other like a 2D drawing and an actual 3D object—a lower dimensional download of something I lack language for. Then I see another building. It is some sort of cathedral, a huge structure, kilometers long. I enter the structure. I feel humbled, amazed. Metatron explains to me: this is the building of Love. I feel astonished, touched, a feeling of breath-grasping beauty. While I walk around I look at the nice things that are possible with this type of architecture. I enjoy myself for some time in a corner in a way that isn’t easy to describe. Everywhere I look there are reflections, somehow like a play of light in mirrors and crystals. But what is reflected isn’t exactly light. It reflects my consciousness, the good and loving parts of my consciousness, to be more precise. Looking at the beauty of the architecture means seeing the beauty in oneself. The light of consciousness is caught, broken, reflected, mirrored into rainbow colors that contain images, feelings, love. It closely resembles looking into the eyes of someone that loves you deeply. While I slowly retreat from the building of love after some time, the beauty of the experience stays with me for several days.
After experimenting with some variations in my brewing technique, resulting in varying strengths, I seemed to have created an incredibly strong brew. The ayahuasca hits me with an amazing force. When I open my eyes I have visual hallucinations like the waving and flowing patterns on the carpet. I am propelled into hyperspace again, even though my trip has already been happening for the past two hours. The place I am in is crowded with entities. I am sucked into an ontological struggle. In the beginning it seems to be a normal conversation. They say: You talk about this love. And you hope this love is the ultimate ground of being. But is that true? Let us tell you, the universe is a battlefield. Those with the most power survive. Just look at the earth. Can’t you see we are destroying it? So where is this love of yours? Can it save you? Your love is a small corner in the universe, some small garden, while the bigger picture is dominated by use, with force and power. I feel awful and afraid. They can’t be right, can they? I think I am sure of that. Love is stronger. Is it not? I search for helpers. I sing for Mary, Santa Maria. I sing for Light. Sometimes I seem to find it, but there is some doubt in my system, some sort of ontological fear I am not able to tame. I feel like I am trapped in an ontological rollercoaster. Around this corner, my view is eternal love. The next corner, my view is the deepest, desolate hell.
I am trapped in a loop. I know it, but I cannot come out as long as I don’t solve this riddle about love or power being the fundamental ontological structure. It has been four hours since I drank the brew, but it is stronger than anything I ever drank. Since the effect normally wears off after two hours I stopped the ritual and went to bed, hoping the effect will fade out as is supposed to happen. But not with this brew. I want to sleep, but I am not able to. My mind is propelled out of the normal stream of space and time. The ontological rollercoaster hasn’t stopped. While my body lies in bed, I ride my bicycle on the streets. I am at the beach with a friend. Then I am back in bed. I am fifteen again, reliving certain experiences. It seems like I have totally lost my orientation in space and time. I start to think that our common reality is actually falling apart. The reason we don’t notice is because we don’t pay attention—it simply doesn’t fit our paradigm. But while I consider the news, both globally and from the private life of friends, I see secrets being unveiled at a high rate. Reality is unlocking deep secrets, seals are being broken; hidden patterns are surfacing into the light of truth. Everything has to face the light of truth. Revealing secrets is often painful, yet healing. It is the light of being that is radiating in the dark corners of existence. There is this deep fear in people representing collective structures, banks and governments. Houses are being expropriated; people are committing suicide. A fearful reality is seeping into our self-made hell. Then I realize this to be just one of many realities. I move through different layers of reality. Seeing angelic entities and beings of light. This completely changes the playing field, it seems like I found an escape from the loop. Other worlds open up. Death is not the end. I see the Middle Ages, my life back then. I feel reality to be a spiritual battle between fear and love, dark and light. Then I realize I am still in the loop. In this battle between fear and love, how can I be certain love is the fundamental ground of being? I change my focus in an attempt to get out of the loop. I see earth embedded in cosmic cycles—the seasons, the sun, the galaxy—interlocking cycles. Fourteen billion years of evolution, filled with all these lives, comprehending all these realities. We change physical matter. We transform matter. I see crystals, the fields behind my house. This is real. This is reality. Something I can focus on and anchor in. I realize we are local communities—local tribes—trying to connect over the fences of our paradigms. I see my neighbors, my children. Ah, yes, my kids. They bring so much light. They carry the new DNA. They play and sing through the day despite all of the darkness. But I enter the loop again. Damn this loop. I am still lying in my bed, rolling though space and time. Maybe I have gone mad? It has been almost 6 hours since I drank the brew, 4 hours beyond the normal effect. Have I finally gone mad? Does it matter? Because we do exist in these cosmic cycles after all. And this is just one of many realities. I enter the angelic realms, but I am immediately confronted with the question about love being the ultimate foundation to rest upon or being consumed into quicksand made of naive dreams. In the end, I finally manage to fall asleep; at last.
In the morning I feel the ontoseismic* trauma. At the same time, I am very aware of everything I can anchor my consciousness in and how precious these anchors really are; whether I am connecting with authentic human beings or connecting with the cycles of nature. It takes a few weeks before I gather the courage to drink ayahuasca again.
I enter hyperspace. I have quite a bit of pre-flight tension due to the previous experience of being “stuck-in-the-loop.” We are drawing the hyperspace map in front of us, waiting for the ayahuasca to take off. While drawing, the light comes. Light. It flows through me, opens me. I am bursting open like a ripe fruit. As I open up to the Light, the struggle of the world opens up as well—the spiritual battle of world forces—Ahriman and Lucifer—wrathful demons. I have this apocalyptic vision, this secret war unfolding; a secret war in plain sight. Fear, spying, drones, 1984 realized. Instead of looping like the last time, I see the wooden sculpture Rudolf Steiner created entitled, “The Representative of Humanity.” It shows Christ standing in the middle between the two devils, Ahriman and Lucifer. It is the love of Christ that balances their forces; it is the love of Christ that breaks their dominion. I find a peaceful place inside the space Christ creates. A quiet and sacred space. The demons leave. Whether they flee from the light and love of Christ or it is just me that managed to navigate to a different space, I do not know. The fact is I finally managed to break through the loop. I feel strong and balanced. In the middle of our hyperspace map I see Christ. I see the letters of his name. A divine code. Christ is the magic word that breaks the power of both the demons and the infinite loop.
In the morning I feel the ontoseismic* trauma. At the same time, I am very aware of everything I can anchor my consciousness in and how precious these anchors really are; whether I am connecting with authentic human beings or connecting with the cycles of nature. It takes a few weeks before I gather the courage to drink ayahuasca again.
I enter hyperspace. I have quite a bit of pre-flight tension due to the previous experience of being “stuck-in-the-loop.” We are drawing the hyperspace map in front of us, waiting for the ayahuasca to take off. While drawing, the light comes. Light. It flows through me, opens me. I am bursting open like a ripe fruit. As I open up to the Light, the struggle of the world opens up as well—the spiritual battle of world forces—Ahriman and Lucifer—wrathful demons. I have this apocalyptic vision, this secret war unfolding; a secret war in plain sight. Fear, spying, drones, 1984 realized. Instead of looping like the last time, I see the wooden sculpture Rudolf Steiner created entitled, “The Representative of Humanity.” It shows Christ standing in the middle between the two devils, Ahriman and Lucifer. It is the love of Christ that balances their forces; it is the love of Christ that breaks their dominion. I find a peaceful place inside the space Christ creates. A quiet and sacred space. The demons leave. Whether they flee from the light and love of Christ or it is just me that managed to navigate to a different space, I do not know. The fact is I finally managed to break through the loop. I feel strong and balanced. In the middle of our hyperspace map I see Christ. I see the letters of his name. A divine code. Christ is the magic word that breaks the power of both the demons and the infinite loop.
Wooden Sculpture by Rudolf Steiner: Representative of Humanity.
I realize we create the world with language. Language is a creative force. I realize the absurdity of claiming strings of text as property. Stories should be free. Creation should be free.
I feel the ayahuasca clean my body. My body cramps while the ayahuasca goes through it. I press my hands on my belly. There are snakes inside of me—demons, fear, secrets, the pain of the world, the pain of the ages, the pain of thousands of people. The pain of humanity resonates inside me. I ask for help. It is just too much to bear alone. My fellow traveler sits on the couch, playing a flute. His music is my companion. I see the circles of the flower of life in my vision. The action is where they intersect. The painful points on my body are like intersections of energy. I dive deeper into the pain, I try to open up to it, accept it. I fear the anger, the rage that inflicts all this pain. Then I realize that the anger and rage can in fact be beneficial when it works in the correct moment and location. The rage should work in my body, when it digests food, for example, or when my immune system combats disease. I welcome the rage as a healing force. The fear disappears. I feel rejuvenated. This life-force working through my body. The destruction isn’t something to be battled; it is something to be given its rightful place where it can do its proper job.
My fellow traveler and I decide we should continue to work together for the next 1.000 years, devoting our lives to healing at least a 100.000 people. These extravagant numbers are exactly what gives us force; let’s do it. Somehow like the Buddhists say: may all beings be free from suffering. The world needs so much healing. So let’s devote ourselves to this.
I feel the ayahuasca clean my body. My body cramps while the ayahuasca goes through it. I press my hands on my belly. There are snakes inside of me—demons, fear, secrets, the pain of the world, the pain of the ages, the pain of thousands of people. The pain of humanity resonates inside me. I ask for help. It is just too much to bear alone. My fellow traveler sits on the couch, playing a flute. His music is my companion. I see the circles of the flower of life in my vision. The action is where they intersect. The painful points on my body are like intersections of energy. I dive deeper into the pain, I try to open up to it, accept it. I fear the anger, the rage that inflicts all this pain. Then I realize that the anger and rage can in fact be beneficial when it works in the correct moment and location. The rage should work in my body, when it digests food, for example, or when my immune system combats disease. I welcome the rage as a healing force. The fear disappears. I feel rejuvenated. This life-force working through my body. The destruction isn’t something to be battled; it is something to be given its rightful place where it can do its proper job.
My fellow traveler and I decide we should continue to work together for the next 1.000 years, devoting our lives to healing at least a 100.000 people. These extravagant numbers are exactly what gives us force; let’s do it. Somehow like the Buddhists say: may all beings be free from suffering. The world needs so much healing. So let’s devote ourselves to this.
Ontoseismic* (A psychedelic neologism defined by Kairon.)
When entering hyperspace for the first time, or entering deeper levels of hyperspace for the first time, there can be a "psychedelic shock". The paradigms and world image of the individual is shattered, obviously no longer works in these realms, and the individual traveler is left with empty hands staring at the fragments of what he formerly knew as 'truth'. This experience can, in the first moments, be seemingly traumatic because of the inabiltity of the traveler to process his experience, leading to the feeling of being absolutely overwhelmed. Yet, when the traveler can reach a certain inner concentration, a firmness, while being and experiencing these newer and deeper levels of truth, the psychedelic shock turns out to be utterly freeing. The paradox is that the experience has the disturbing effect of a trauma, yet the cause of the trauma is a Platonic experience of total truth, beauty and love. The experience is more intense and deeper than 'mindblowing'; 'disturbing' lacks the insight and beauty that accompanies the experience. Ontoseismic is composed of a merging of ontos (Greek for 'being') and seismos (earthquake, from seiein (Greek for 'to shake').
Anthroposophy**
When entering hyperspace for the first time, or entering deeper levels of hyperspace for the first time, there can be a "psychedelic shock". The paradigms and world image of the individual is shattered, obviously no longer works in these realms, and the individual traveler is left with empty hands staring at the fragments of what he formerly knew as 'truth'. This experience can, in the first moments, be seemingly traumatic because of the inabiltity of the traveler to process his experience, leading to the feeling of being absolutely overwhelmed. Yet, when the traveler can reach a certain inner concentration, a firmness, while being and experiencing these newer and deeper levels of truth, the psychedelic shock turns out to be utterly freeing. The paradox is that the experience has the disturbing effect of a trauma, yet the cause of the trauma is a Platonic experience of total truth, beauty and love. The experience is more intense and deeper than 'mindblowing'; 'disturbing' lacks the insight and beauty that accompanies the experience. Ontoseismic is composed of a merging of ontos (Greek for 'being') and seismos (earthquake, from seiein (Greek for 'to shake').
Anthroposophy**
A philosophy founded by Rudolf Steiner, postulates the existence of an objective, intellectually comprehensible spiritual world accessible to direct experience through inner development. More specifically, it aims to develop faculties of perceptive imagination, inspiration and intuition through cultivating a form of thinking independent of sensory experience, and to present the results thus derived in a manner subject to rational verification. In its investigations of the spiritual world, anthroposophy aims to attain the precision and clarity attained by the natural sciences in their investigations of the physical world.
Anthroposophical ideas have been applied practically in many areas including Steiner/Waldorf education, special education (most prominently through the Camphill Movement), biodynamic agriculture, medicine, ethical banking,organizational development, and the arts. The Anthroposophical Society has its international center at theGoetheanum in Dornach, Switzerland.
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